New Year's and all that comes with it!

For the last year and a half I keep saying this is going to be a better year and life can't get any worse.  Well guess what??  It did and has.  To say that I am broken and have hit my bottom is an understatement.  I need a lot of healing and help.  I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions because who really follows them anyway?  Most people follow them for a month or so and then it is back to the same old habits.  That's ok, who is judging?? Not me for sure!  So I am not going to call them resolutions, just goals.

*I want to change this blog.  I love food and the majority will be about food but I also want to make it about my life and the healing process I am going to try and get through.  After losing a child and the love of my life it will probably take a long time and it might bring some people down (Sorry about that).  I want it to be honest and completely be free to be myself...which will include a lot of foul language and drinking (Again...sorry about that).  Wait maybe I am not sorry, I have to be myself right? 

-A side note:  I am not a writer and have never really been one so don't expect a lot of great writing pieces from me.

*I want to start working out and eating better.  I know, I know everyone says this and I have said it many times.  This time I am serious.  I don't want to do it to lose weight because I really don't need to.  I want to do it to feel better, to feel strong and to feel good about myself.  It might keep me off the couch watching hours worth of NCIS.....Oh but that Gibbs just keeps me hooked:)

*To find God again.  I used to be a regular church goer.  Two to three times a week I was there listening and praying.  It felt great.....and then I lost my son and that changed.  I was and am not able to understand why God would let a child be taken away from his mother but I need to try.  I need help to heal and that's the only way I know how.  It might take time, probably ALOT of time but it is a step in the right direction.

So that is it for now....